The Other Woman

My Blog made me type in my entire password before she would let me in. I think she's giving me the silent treatment for being so neglectful.

Can you send a blog flowers?

I can't blame her for being upset. I was unfaithful after all.



*hangs head in shame*



But it wasn't my fault! I was seduced......by her younger, cunning, more attractive sister.




Oh, she made it so easy for me. Lovingly asking, "What's on your mind?" every time I came to call. And she didn't nag me to write out every single detail of my life.




No.




She was satisfied by a simple phrase like: "Christy is eating a loaf of bread." or "Christy is knitting a cat sweater."

She was constantly introducing me to friends-hundreds of them! Every time I stopped by they would be there, waiting to tell me how they "just started a load of laundry" or what character from T.V.'s the "A -Team" they were most like. (Murdock!)

I bet Mr. T is his "friend".

She adorned me with dazzling Flair, flooded me with pictures of everyone's exotic trips to Europe, Hawaii and The Olive Garden, and all around wooed me with the thrill of instant gratification.

I fell in love.......

But love is blind, isn't it?

A lesson I learned one day after being lured to Her page by the red sign in the corner of my screen.

"You have 3 notifications," she purred.

I clicked on it and clapped. "Goody!!"

The excitement was almost unbearable as my mind sifted through the endless combinations of virtual gifts awaiting me on Her homepage.

"Maybe she has a new comment for me on my 'Christy eating a churro' picture? Ooh, I know, it's a new friend request! Or, OR......maybe someone WROTE ON MY WALL!!"

"You have (3) new Know-It-All Trivias to play today." she coldly replied.

Wha? 'Trivia'? She brought me here for trivia?!?

Annoyed, I continued to scroll down through what seemed to be an ever-growing list of , well.......junk.

"SecretCrushes predicts which of your friends might have a crush on you! Find out who they are NOW!"

"New Quiz of the Day: What farm animal are you?"

"Buy a Hired Thug in 'Mafia Wars'!"

"FARKLE! Get more points when you play!"

I did not like this side of her.

Every impersonal request seemed to scream what I- blinded by the thrill of social networking- had refused to see all along.

She was using me.

After all, she did have millions of other "Friends" to attend to.

Friends who would Farkle.

She enticed me with the promise of reconnecting with friends, the ease of communicating in toddler-like sentences ("Christy @ Target. Buying waffle maker.") and the high of having 300+ Friends at your disposal. But in the end, she's just a working girl, doing her best to make a living. She wants us there so we will to click on "Oprah's Acai berry diet" ad, become 'fans' of Air Quotes, and add every quiz application known to man.

But,you know what? That's ok. Because we've come to an understanding, she and I. We are both more fully aware of what we expect from each other. She lets me post pictures of the first day of school so that my friends and family can "ooh" and "ahh" over Ava's Hello Kitty backpack, and I let her bombard me with advertisements for "Red Bull taste testers" and Landscaping Companies. I've pulled away ever so slightly so that I can (try to) dedicate a little time to the whole story again.

Which is how I find myself here, at the doorstep of my trusty blog, begging for forgiveness. Wracking my brain for the dozens of little anecdotes and stories worth remembering that need a welcoming place to dwell. A place to write my triumphs, fears, embarrassments, and greatest joys. The only journal I've even partially stuck with.


And hopefully, with time, my posterity will learn that I am a little more than "Most likely to be Tootie from 'Facts of Life' ".

It's good to be home.

He's been searching for you on Facebook!

PS. I'm still a FB lover- loud and proud! Once an addict.....

PPS. I've also been horrible at keeping up with YOUR blogs! I need to repent. I promise I will get started neglecting my children so that I can catch up. xoxo